Audiobooks, especially when read by the author, are some of my favorite things. I’m obsessed! I’m usually cleaning, sewing, driving, or walking while I listen (not necessarily in that order), and I sometimes imagine the author is in the room with me, sharing their story. I also love that sometimes the author goes “off script” and/or adds things to the book that can’t really be included in the text version, which is the case with My Next Breath, by actor, Jeremy Renner.
I remember when it was reported that Jeremy Renner was run over by a snowplow (on New Year’s Day!) and survived. I knew who he was, but hadn’t seen many of his movies, yet I prayed for him and cheered for his recovery. This memoir, which briefly covering some of his history and commentary on his loved ones and friends, is very much about the events leading up to the accident, and insights Renner gained through the experience.
Some of this book was very hard to listen to – I waited with dread, knowing what his immediate future held that morning when he and his nephew set out to clear snow. Renner provides a very explicit explanation of events, some pieced together through talking with the neighbors and medical staff who helped him survive. He includes the 911 recording, providing additional context to the call and what he says he was thinking before and after the accident occurred.
Renner says that, in the days leading up to his accident, he faced multiple obstacles, which could have prevented him from celebrating the new year on the mountain (a flight was cancelled, he left the key on the hood of his car when packing up and got stranded at a gas station, the mountain was closed due to heavy snowfall while he was out buying provisions and he almost wasn’t able to rejoin his friends and family…). I am in no way insinuating that his decision push past these obstacles CAUSED the accident, but I believe that, when things like this happen (our car doesn’t start, we miss a flight, etc.), it could be a positive answer to our prayers for safety. Reading this reiterated for me the importance of listening to these types of occurrences – prayer is, after all, a two way street. (Renner says he is not a religious person, but these were the thoughts I had while listening to his story, and I keep thinking about those inconveniences that may be blessings in disguise).
My main takeaway from his story relates to my overall intention for writing about the books I read – we are shaped by our experiences, whether that’s a book, a film, a class we took, etc.. In this case, the title of the book comes from something in Renner’s childhood that he could have in no way predicted would one day be of such importance to his future survival. As an adolescent, he accompanied his pregnant mother to her Lamaze classes, sitting beside her as the teacher advised the expectant mothers to get through the pain of childbirth by focusing on their breathing, specifically on one breath at a time. This training seemed irrelevant to him in the moment, but he says when he woke up in the snow, one eye bulging out of his head (!), body parts splayed in directions they shouldn’t have been, the Lamaze lessons came back to him and led the way. He was able to remain calm and alert by thinking only about his next breath, then the next, as neighbors and later paramedics were working on him to keep him alive. His moans can be heard on the 9-1-1 recording, and he says he was making these sounds specifically to help him concentrate on one breath at a time.
His recovery was long and difficult, and, he gets very philosophical and maybe just a little bit sanctimonious while explaining just how he got through the grueling challenges of rehab and healing (and he admits to not being the best patient). He refers to “Renner Talks” that he uses to impart his unique wisdom on those he cares about most, something he did before that fateful day on the snow. Some of this was a little bit over the top for me, and I sped up the audio just a little. That said, I’m glad he survived and I can’t begrudge him some level of self righteousness here – it’s HIS memoir and I’m glad he’s alive to share his story.